The Confidence Conundrum: Why Repetition Alone Isn't Enough

Do you remember learning how to ride a bike? 

At first, you were probably nervous and unsure of yourself. Every time you tried, you wobbled from left to right and then fell off.  

That said, not many people are able to ride a bike on their first try, so despite your best efforts and one failure after another, your parents didn’t give up on you. 

The next day your dad brings you back out onto the driveway and tells you that you need to give it another go. You try for another few minutes, but can’t seem to get the hang of it. Nevertheless, there was marginal improvement.  

The next day it goes a little better. The next day, even better. 

Over time, your confidence grows as you repeat the same actions of pedaling and balancing. Eventually, you are able to ride the bike without falling off. 

This story illustrates the power of repetition to build confidence. By practicing the same actions over and over again, we gain a sense of familiarity and comfort in our abilities.

Even if it’s been several years since you’ve last ridden a bike, I’m sure you could ride a bike today with ease.

However, if you have never learned to ride a bike before, that might not be the case. You need to have past data or reference points indicating that you can ride a bike without falling off. 

Confidence is built from repetition, but only established when we can predict the likelihood of an outcome.

If you've done something thousands of times before, let’s say play blackjack, but have no way of predicting the certainty of the outcome, you would not be confident that the next card the dealer pulls out is going to be black or red, because the outcome is not certain.  If you have a full deck, the odds would be 50-50. You could guess, and still have a high likelihood of getting it right, but your guess would be based on odds, or perhaps luck, rather than foreseeable certainty. 

Repetition is a crucial aspect of building confidence. But predictability of an outcome must be known to truly gauge the validity of one’s confidence. 

In order to master a skill or achieve a goal, we must practice and repeat the necessary actions until they become second nature. This is true in all aspects of life, from sports to public speaking to learning a new language. The more we repeat a task, the more likely we are able to execute it successfully. 

That said, repetition alone is not a recipe for building confidence. You must prove that you can successfully repeat the same outcome over and over to embody genuine confidence. 

This is where the ‘Beginner Mentality’ comes into play. 

The beginner mentality is a mindset that embraces a willingness to learn, grow, and try new things. It's a mindset that acknowledges that there's always more to learn and that even experts were once beginners. By adopting a beginner mentality, we can approach tasks and challenges with an open mind and a willingness to take risks, make mistakes, and learn from them through repetition. 

To apply the beginner mentality in our lives, we must embrace the idea that we are always learning and growing. We must be willing to step out of our comfort zones and try new things, even if it means making mistakes along the way. By repeating successful patterns and building upon them, we can build confidence in our abilities and achieve success in our endeavors.

However, without the vulnerability needed to be a beginner, most of us won’t ever try. 

A ‘confident beginner’ is an oxymoron, and they may have a false sense of their actual abilities, but a person who’s never even tried, doesn’t even deserve to participate in the conversation.

Building confidence, starts with trying and evolves as we repeat the desired outcome.

If you want to develop confidence. Surrender your ego, adapt the beginner mindset, and don't stop until you get it right. 

Own the process,

Tim

Author of Mastery Monday

Founder & Student