Be Selfish for Others: Why Being Anything Less Than Your Best is a Disservice

When I was 14 or 15 years old, I vividly remember stepping into my high school’s locker room and reading a phrase that someone had scribbled with a chrome sharpie on the mirror above the communal sink. 

It read,

“Anything less than your best is not an option.”

It was erased by the janitorial staff a few days later, due to the evident vandalism, but for whatever reason this quote has always stuck with me.  

As a freshman in high school, my perspective on life was limited to the echo chamber I was confined to. I don’t remember being motivated to do anything outside of what I was told to do, and contemplating an idea of my own curation was non-existent. 

That said, when I read that quote for the first time - it struck a philosophical chord of mine that I was unfamiliar with.

There is a layer of dichotomy to this quote and an opposing contrast to what I was being told. 

Because becoming the best requires hard work, sacrifice, and selfishness. Doing what you need to do to accomplish what needs to be done. (selfishness = evil)

However, being a good human, of sound character and virtue, represented selflessness and to be of service to others.  (selflessness = good) 

In a world that often associates selfishness with negative connotations and selflessness with positive connotations - how could that be our only option? 

It later dawned on me that living up to your fullest potential is not selfish, but rather a selfless act that requires shared goals.

Consider this analogy: Imagine you have a significant other, and you both have dreams and goals you want to achieve together. Now, suppose you repeatedly fall short of your potential, failing to show up for important moments or neglecting your health. In doing so, you rob your partner of the support and shared experiences they deserve. Being anything less than your best in this context becomes a selfish act, as you deny your partner the opportunity to have the best version of you by their side.

The same principle applies in a sport like Jiu Jitsu, where training partners rely on each other's commitment. If you fail to show up for training or neglect your health, you are being selfish in depriving your partners of the best version of yourself and what you can offer them. 

Because you have failed, you rob them of the opportunity to get better. 

Because you didn’t show up, maybe they thought they didn’t have to show up either. 

Because you neglected your health and stayed up too late, they are less motivated and focused with a different training partner. 

You, being anything less than your best, is a disservice to those who count on you. 

At the core of this perspective is the understanding that we are interconnected, and our actions, or lack thereof, affect those around us.

Being anything less than your best means not fully embracing your potential and denies the universe of your gifts that you can bring to the world. This impacts not only yourself but also the people who depend on you.

Accountability plays a crucial role in this context. Being accountable means showing up consistently, pushing yourself to improve, and taking responsibility for your actions. It means recognizing that being your best is not just about personal achievement but about how you contribute to the collective well-being.

When you hold yourself accountable, you demonstrate respect for the commitments you've made, whether it's to your significant other, your coworkers, your manager, or to your training partners. You prioritize the shared goals and experiences, recognizing that your dedication contributes to the growth and fulfillment of everyone involved.

In Jiu Jitsu, this accountability becomes even more apparent. Every training session is an opportunity to support and uplift your teammates. By being your best on the mats—physically, mentally, and emotionally—you inspire others to do the same. You create an environment where everyone can thrive, pushing each other to reach new heights.

When you show up fully and strive to be the best version of yourself, you foster a culture of excellence, camaraderie, and mutual respect.

This is the true essence of selfishness for others—the act of being your best self not just for your own benefit but for the collective growth and success of the people you care about.

Own the Process, 

Tim 

Author of Mastery Monday

Student & Founder