The Practitioner's Journal | Jiu Jitsu

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From Childhood Dreams to Adult Identity: The Importance of Character Development

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Do you remember being asked this question in your early youth?

I’m sure you do. 

It’s a commonly asked question by authoritative figures in our life and something that may have even had an impact on your future-determining choices. 

I find it funny because I do not remember most of my childhood conversations, but I can specifically recall being asked this question by my teachers, parents, and nearly every ‘grown-up’ that I interacted with.

I can even remember some of the answers I gave and how drastically they changed as I grew older and discovered new interests and hobbies.

“I want to be a professional skateboarder, a forensic specialist, a spy, an actor, a soccer player… and the list goes on.”

Of course, this question isn’t serious.

How can it be? 

How can an adult take a child seriously? 

Their logic is instinctual, their dreams are unrealistic, and their imagination is wild.  

But now you are in the driver seat. You are now the one asking, rather than the one being asked. 

And although this might be an innocent question to stimulate a child’s imagination. The context and intent is all wrong. 

When did our job titles start becoming our primary identity? 

When did our day-to-day responsibilities become more significant, than the way we treat other people?

When did our occupations become more important than our character?

By asking a child what they want to be, we are asking them to form their identity based on what they do for a living, rather than the type of person they should strive to become. 

Don’t ask them WHAT they want to be. Ask them WHO they want to become.

I don’t care what you do; I want to know what type of person you are. 

Are you kind, friendly, hardworking, thoughtful, loyal or are you self-centered, untrustworthy, lazy, irresponsible?

If this question isn’t something you have answered before, take a moment - right now - and ask yourself - What type of person do you want to become?

Then practice the skills and behaviors that are in alignment with that person. 

Do you want to be truthful? Practice being honest. 

Do you want to be kind? Practice being generous. 

Do you want to be hardworking? Practice being discipline. 

Do you want to be smart? Practice learning.

These are all transferable meta skills that can be easily applied to any occupation, action, or responsibility. 

They are the building blocks of your character and the foundational behaviors that influence the person you will ultimately become.

Regardless of your current age, I can assure you, you are still in your development years.  There’s still time to grow, learn, and change into the person you inspire to be.

Define the person you want to be, because WHO you are, will determine the level of success within WHAT you do.

Own the process,

Tim 
Author of Mastery Monday
Founder & Student