The Practitioner's Journal | Jiu Jitsu

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What Game Are You Playing?

Once upon a time, there were two friends, Alice and Bob. 

Both Alice and Bob had a goal to run and complete their first marathon. 

Though they had the same goal (to finish a marathon) their reason as to why they wanted to race differed.

Alice wanted to complete the race because she wanted to lose weight. She knew having a hard-and-fast goal, like running a marathon, would require several months of training.  Training for a marathon and then having to complete it would be the perfect strategy to hold herself accountable and to shed the few pounds she wanted to lose. 

Bob wanted to run the race because he has never competed before. He had been running quite consistently over the years, but he had never had to push himself outside of his comfort zone. Though he also had a few pounds to lose, he ran simply because he enjoyed it. 

Several months later, the day finally came and both Alice and Bob crossed the finish line. Not only did they finish their race, but they also accomplished their goals!  Bob set a new PR and got his competitive beak wet and Alice lost all of the weight she wanted to lose. 

The race was over. 

If the story ended there, it would have a happy ending, right? 

But the story doesn’t end there. 

And that’s the point.

The story goes on.  

This is something you may have seen or been a part of yourself. So you tell me, what happens next?

The following morning, Bob and Alice wake up.  Although the race is over, their life goes on… 

Alice lost her weight. She accomplished her goal. She’s done. The following day, you don’t see her outside on the pavement or in the gym…

The next week, still no sign of Alice…

The next month, nothing… 

Then, the following month, Alice weighs herself and she’s back to what she weighed pre-marathon training… What happened? DING DING - the lightbulb goes off. Alice is a hard-charging type-A personality and what she needs is another goal… 

Bob, however, wakes up the next day, stretches out, puts on his shoes, and runs 1 mile to get the blood flowing back into his legs. The next day he runs a bit further. The next week, he’s back on track. Not because of the elusive goal, but because he loves running. 

Life is often compared to a game, but not all games are created equal. There are two types of games: finite and infinite. A finite game has a clear set of rules, a beginning, and an end. There are winners and losers, and the objective is to win. On the other hand, an infinite game has no defined rules or end point. The objective is to make sure the game continues.

The story above illustrates the difference between playing a finite and infinite game. Alice was so focused on the end goal, that she forgot to enjoy the process.  Bob, on the other hand, had a goal, but knew that it was just a part of the journey, a pit stop, rather than a destination. He ran for the love of the sport and enjoyed every moment of the race, regardless of the outcome.

Life, in itself, is a game of mastery. 

And mastery is a journey, not a destination. There is no end or winning. It is merely a process. 

And if you are working towards mastery, all you need to do is try. 

If you try and fail, so what?

Trying is not considered failure, until you stop trying... Until you give up. Until you quit. 

Need another example that may be more relevant?

You’re crushing work, making sales, and you are a top performer. But then, within a flash of an eye, you lose your biggest account. The world comes crashing down and you go from number 1 to a complete and utter failure… 

In Scenario #1: You stop there. You quit, and you prove yourself right - you are a failure. 

However, in Scenario #2: You have the resilience to keep on working. You struggle for a while, but before you know it, you land a new account. The account happens to be even better than what you had before. You work your way back to being a top earner and you are now even further along than you were before.

We are inevitably going to find ourselves in these scenarios. And when you are faced with this choice, you have to ask yourself: What game are you playing?

Are you playing to win? Or are you playing the game for as long as possible?

We can’t expect to hit home runs with every swing. 

But once you put the bat down, you can be certain that you’ll never hit a home run again. 

Life is not about winning or losing; it is about playing the game to the best of our abilities.

Whether it’s a sport, job, skill, or relationship we need to focus on the process more than the outcomes. 

Because the process is the reward. 

Own the Process,

Tim

Author & Founder