Does anyone else remember learning about the American psychologist B.F. Skinner and his operant condition model in 9th grade psychology?

For whatever reason, learning about basic psychology theories have always seemed to stick with me, despite not having a formal use for them. 

If you need a refresher, operant conditioning is based on reinforcement. Either adding or removing something to either increase or decrease a behavior. 

One of the most common experiments used to demonstrate operant conditioning, is conditioning a dog to salivate by the sound of a bell. At first you use a bell to notify the dog that food is coming. The dog will start to salivate as the food arrives. After repeating this process over and over again, you remove the food, but the dog will still continue to salivate when it hears the bell, as it is conditioned to think that the bell is associated with food.

Whether you realize it or not, we are constantly being conditioned by the companies we work for, the companies we buy from, and the technology we use. 

Without going too deep into an area that I lack any true expertise in, we can say for certain that conditioning works; however, as individuals, we rarely use it to our advantage. 

Conditioning doesn’t have to be manipulative. Done in the right way, conditioning can be used as a tool to help level up the people around you. 

By improving your communal environment, you will improve your own experience. Being placed in an environment that demands growth, is pivotal to self-improvement and mastery. 

So, how might we use it?

We can condition our partners, peers, and social environment by applauding what we want to see more of in the world. 

This is using positive reinforcement to solicit the behaviors we want to see, ultimately bettering both parties.

Though this should be an ‘easy experiment,’  because we should want to say nice things about one another, it happens to be more difficult than you would expect, mainly due to the fact that the things that we actually appreciate and cherish are oftentimes taken for granted.

This experiment should not be about sporadic and irregular grand gestures, but rather about trivial details and behaviors that usually go unnoticed. 

It’s about reframing our own mindset to intentionally and persistently, condition those around us. 

In Jiu Jitsu, we want our training partners to improve. As their game improves, so does ours. But how do we elevate their game through positive reinforcement?

Maybe it’s applauding them for showing up, for being consistent, or for being reliable. 

Maybe it’s applauding them…

… for executing a specific technique.

… for showing you something new.

… for moving well.

… for being a good partner.

In relationships, we want our significant others, friends, and family to behave in a certain way. If we positively reinforce the behaviors we favor, they will implore more of these behaviors in the future. In the long run, enhancing our bond and trust with one another. 

Maybe it’s applauding them for texting back in a timely manner, because that’s how you like to communicate. 

Maybe it’s applauding them…

… for showing up 5 minutes early.

… for taking out the trash.

… for putting their phone down at the dinner table.

… for giving you notice that they are stopping by.

Reinforcing these behaviors are an effective tool to recreate the behaviors you seek, rather than telling them to behave in a certain way. 

Stop being late!

Take out the trash!

Show up to class!

Try harder!

Or

Wow, thanks for being early, I appreciate that! 

That made my day when I woke up and the trash was taken out!

I always have a great time training when you come to class on Monday nights! 

When you focus, it really makes me put on my 'A' game!

Do you see the difference and how this type of reinforcement can improve, elevate, and enhance the experience around you?

You cannot control others, but you can empower them by applauding what you want to see more of in the world.

Own the process,

Tim 
Author of Mastery Monday
Founder & Student